What’s in a classroom?

October 8, 2013

OVERHEARD IN HOLDEN HALL: “Mr Alford, is pink lemonade REALLY made from pink lemons?

So there I was…(so many of my stories start that way)

I was looking at my classroom. Which is a pretty typical activity for me between when the coffee goes in, and when the coffee KICKS in.

And it struck me: Man, I have some WEIRD stuff in my classroom! Stuff that I have accumulated over the years. Stuff like swords, and books, and a fake bird, and a basketball hoop, and fake money, and real shells, and really, just WEIRD stuff! I mean, okay I get some of it. Classes gotta have STUFF, right? Math classses need math stuff, history classes need old stuff, science classes need explosive stuff, I GET it.

But childrens’ books? Puppets? Tubas? I mean, tubas not in a MUSIC class?

Teachers are a weird lot, and hey tend to collect weird stuff. So I went of in search of teacher-weird stuff. After some exhaustive research (I walked around school during a free dot) and some serious consultations (asked students what was weird in classrooms), I put together a picture show of Gould-weirdness (from now on known as “Gouierdness”- my new favorite word with four vowels in a row in it). Here are some of my pictures: Can you guess the classroom?

Ok, fairly obvious.

Ok, fairly obvious.








Head, and "Graceful" hand.

Head, and “Graceful” hand.









And this teaches….history?








"Homework bear?"

“Homework bear?”








A foot?  WHY????

A foot? WHY????








What the......? What are THESE guys teaching?

What the……? What are THESE guys teaching?








Príncipe Gnomo. The real "Jefe" of Spanish 4.

Príncipe Gnomo. The real “Jefe” of Spanish 4.








Right. Goueirdness. Which reminds me: Some of my other favorite 4-vowels-in-a-row words?


And the special runner-up to Goueirdness? Gooiest.

Finally: Wouldn’t this make a great sentence? An obsequious Hawaiian was queuing in his Sequoia while listing onomatopoeia.

Goueirdness, indeed.


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