OK, Gouldies, is that your “Final” answer?

November 15, 2011

OVERHEARD IN A FINAL EXAM ROOM: “It’s ok, it’s not YOUR exam.  I just hyperventilate like this before exams.”

OK, everyone, don’t panic.  This is not childbirth, a driver’s test, or even your Bar Mitzvah.  It’s only a test.


I have spent much of the past three days trying to get people to ramp it down a little.  If you think about it, trimester final exams are really not that big a deal.  For 9-11th graders, this exam can only be worth 20 percent of the term grade.  This means that all of that time you spent NOT panicking is worth 80 PERCENT of your grade!

So why the near-suffocating scent of fear all over campus right now?  Honestly, I think we do this to ourselves.  It’s the word, really.  FINAL.  As in, the END.  Nothing MORE.  No CHANCE to IMPROVE.

Phew, too many CAPITAL LETTERS!  Ugh, now I’M doing it…..

So I have two thoughts:

  1. Change the name from “Final Exam” to “Cute Little Puppy”.  Doesn’t that bring a smile to your face?  What if your teacher told you to come into the classroom at 9:00 on Wednesday morning to take your “Cute Little Puppy?” (I know this would work, as I have been walking all over campus this fall with my “Cute Little Puppy”, and no matter who passes me, they simply have to drop to one knee and shout “PUPPY!!!!”)
  2. Take the “Cute Little Puppy” at the BEGINNING of the trimester.  No, seriously, hear me out.  What if we gave a “Puppy” on the first day of classes, then spent the term filling in all of the blanks?  Then we could give the same “Puppy” on the last day.  No stress, and students would know right at the beginning everything they need to study all term.  And as an added bonus, they could write home to their parents to tell them that this trimester they had “2 PUPPIES” in Spanish class!

For a fortunate few, I have taken once again the liberty of copying down some exam answers that I found in the faculty room, and I will share them with you here.  Don’t say I never did anything for you.  Here they are:

  • H2SO4
  • The “Hawley-Smoot Tariff”
  • “Mi gato es muy blanco.”
  • X= 7
  • Yes
  • “D”

Good luck with your “Puppies”, and have a wonderful thanksgiving break!


This year's Spanish 2 "Final Exam"





3 Responses

  1. Greg Gilman Greg Gilman says:

    Hmm, the “Hawley-Smoot Tariff.” Did that raise or lower tariffs? Better check with Ben Stein to make sure:


  2. Avatar Molly says:

    Funny what you said about drivers tests, because…Friday IS my driver’s test!!! I figured, I’m already taking seven, how bad could an eighth one be? I mean, after all the STRESS of my seven cute little puppies it’s just a little more STRESS added on. Can I have some STRESS with that?

  3. Avatar Gas Generators says:

    Great! thanks for the share!

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