Isn’t “hashtag” just a hip new word for “pound sign?”

April 17, 2012

OVERHEARD IN THE DINING HALL: Teacher-“I’m sick of people not cleaning up their tables!” Student-“Don’t worry, that’s what the people in the dishroom are for!”

I’m a Twidiot (Spirit of full disclosure: I am actively TRYING to enter this word into the American lexicon.  You heard it here first).

Please don’t get me wrong with this- I am NOT an anti-tech guy.  I love my iPod, my phone (a bit antiquated, but it still makes calls and texts), and my laptop.  I read on my Kindle, live through iCal, and use one of my three digital cameras (one a FlipVideo) to document my world.  I love shiny, button-y, streaming-y things.  And I’m not like “another member of my family” who buys every new gadget, from the iPhone to the Sham-Wow, and doesn’t ever figure out how to use it.  I love technology.

But I don’t understand the Twitter mystique. I’m a Twidiot.

I have a Facebook page, and I know how to use it.  I even managed to eliminate all of the embarrassing photos of me from my college days, and I finally figured out how to stop getting Farmville messages.  Finally.

But I don’t get Twitter.  Honestly, it’s not that I haven’t tried.  It seems so simple, and the students in my classes seem to get Twitter, going so far as to use it in classes.  “Hey, Mr. Alford, I wasn’t PLAYING on my computer in class, I was on Twitter!  For History class!  Seriously!”  Twidiot!

It’s bad enough that my students all dress up for Dr. Clarke’s class every couple of weeks (spirit of full disclosure:  Yes, I AM jealous of D.C.).  Now they’re also using Twitter!

For WHAT?????  Seriously people, help me with this!  I WANT to be as cool as the History department (a challenging goal, as they ARE pretty cool)!  What is Twitter for?  Just sharing headlines?  Status updates?  How many times a day do you need to update to be considered cool?  Can you write anything?   How about “Just ate breakfast.  Gonna brush my teeth now.”?  Is that ok?  TMI?  What if it was Bono twitter-ing that (twitting  tweeting?)?  And what are “hashtags?”  What if I posted “#whatsahashtag?” Would the internet implode?

Please people, especially my students, HELP ME!!!   Gould students in general have a terrific combination of creativity, patience, and empathy.  You are all well-suited to explain this phenomenon to me.  In the words of the great Iñigo Montoya, “I must know!!

If "Facebook" and "Twitter" joined forces, would it be called "Facebitter"?


p.s. Jesse Tutor just told me that “Twitter is stupid.”  I don’t know if I should feel supported, or feel like I’m the Twidiot that can’t understand something stupid.  Oh well.


5 Responses

  1. Avatar Tucker Kimball says:

    I want to help you with your twidiocy.

  2. Greg Gilman Greg Gilman says:

    You keep using that word (Twidiot). I do not think it means what you think it means.

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