Gould Academy tackles a tough topic

February 19, 2013

OVERHEARD IN HOLDEN HALL: “What do you mean?  My room looks pretty clean…except the dirty laundry everywhere, the trash on the floor, and the fact that I haven’t vacuumed this year.”

There are many clubs and groups at Gould, many that are dedicated to improving the lives of the few or the many, both within and without (is that word used correctly?) the school. Reachout seeks to improve the lives of people outside of the Gould community through community outreach, service, and fundraising activities. Blue Key, Gold Key, and Gould Goes Green all work towards adding very specific colors around campus. Why, just yesterday I noticed that the walls in Holden Hall are painted Green. Good job, guys! I keep looking for blue and gold keys, but most of mine just look scratched-up-silver-y.

Okay, on second thought, maybe those groups do something bigger than paint walls and keys. Anyways, this GLOG is not about those very excellent and well-respected groups.  It’s about Gould’s newest effort to inform, improve, and generally save the Earth.

I’m talking about the Gould Academy Coalition To Ban Dihydrogen Monoxide (better known as GACTBDM, pronounced Gack-to BEAT-’em).  This new group seeks to inform Gould students (and through them, the world) about the very real dangers of this powerful, virtually unregulated chemical.  Folks, this is a scary chemical, because

A: It can kill you, and

2: Big money is being made as we speak, through it’s extraction and use in Maine.

Our organization is small right now (spirit of full disclosure- I have managed to talk one student into joining me so far), but we stand on the shoulders of giants in our efforts.  Not REAL giants, because that would make me afraid of falling and hurting myself. No, we are following in the footsteps of the National Coalition To Ban Dihydrogen Monoxide (better known as NCTBDM, pronounced Nice-to-BE-Dumb). Not REAL footsteps, because NCTBDM doesn’t really have feet.

The National Coalition shares the following information with us:

Dihydrogen monoxide is colorless, odorless, tasteless, and kills uncounted thousands of people every year. Most of these deaths are caused by accidental inhalation of DHMO, but the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide do not end there. Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage. Symptoms of DHMO ingestion can include excessive sweating and urination, and possibly a bloated feeling, nausea, vomiting and body electrolyte imbalance. For those who have become dependent, DHMO withdrawal means certain death.

In addition we are told that:

Dihydrogen monoxide:

  • is also known as hydroxyl acid (emphasis mine), and is the major component of acid rain.
  • contributes to the “greenhouse effect.”
  • may cause severe burns.
  • contributes to the erosion of our natural landscape.
  • accelerates corrosion and rusting of many metals.
  • may cause electrical failures and decreased effectiveness of automobile brakes.
  • has been found in excised tumors of terminal cancer patients.

See what I mean? This stuff is DANGEROUS! It’s use is generally unregulated, and DHMO concerns have fallen on deaf ears politically.  Congress, to this day, refuses to even consider labeling DHMO as dangerous.  If you think you are safe from this toxic killer, consider the following:

A former U.S. Food and Drug Administration employee and a specialist in the feeding of dairy cattle, Dr. Donna Maria Waltz, warns that regulation of DHMO in the dairy industry is lacking. According to Waltz, it is the single most commonly used chemical in the production of milk. Cows are encouraged to ingest large quantities of DHMO, with studies showing that this practice can lead to increased milk production. The side effects of this practice have not been well studied.

See? It’s in our children’s MILK! And that’s not all….

DHMO contributes to global warming and the “Greenhouse Effect”, and is one of the so-called “greenhouse gases.”

Please, all of you out in Gloggerville, don’t be passive!  Join us in our quest to eliminate this DANGEROUS SUBSTANCE from our lives!  What a glorious world it could be-finally living free of Dihydrogen Monoxide!!

Sources for this GLOG entry:







One Response

  1. Savannah Savannah says:


    Want to hear a Nitric Oxide joke?


    In other news, I am, admittedly, a dihydrogen monoxide addict.

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